Please excuse the wildly cliche opener of a mirror in a room for a submit about reflections. We didn’t take a bunch shot this yr (a minimum of I don’t assume we did) so a gorgeous room with a giant ole mirror to speak about our massive ole emotions felt applicable. That is the final submit of 2022 and connecting with you on a private stage, sharing the great and a few of the exhausting is precisely how we wished to shut it out. We’re endlessly grateful for you all and hope that studying about our 2022s brings us all a bit nearer.
Oh, 2022. Enormous life adjustments that got here with quite a lot of feelings, together with pleasure, aid, success, gratitude with a aspect of remorse, insecurity and disappointment. What’s constant (and I believe a giant mid-life factor) is there are such a lot of questions in which you’ll be able to’t rush the solutions. 2022, post-lockdown was one of many tougher years in current historical past for us. And that’s okay. I’m right here to study all the teachings. My children are thriving, Brian remains to be my favourite particular person to hang around with, and I get to see all my greatest pals and siblings extra incessantly now that we dwell in Portland. The weblog remains to be secure (because of you), after a wild pandemic yr or two with spiking, unstable site visitors (some unimaginable months, some simply odd). I really feel just like the readability that I had throughout lockdown remains to be right here, priorities are firmer than ever, and who, what, and the place I focus my consideration is powerful. This yr we went to a happiness convention which was fairly enlightening. My ebook got here out (and continues to do properly, however we didn’t make the New York Occasions Bestseller listing like Styled did, which was a bit disappointing, actually). I went on Good Morning America and was reminded that dwell nationwide TV is panic assault inducing. We moved into the farm and really feel so grateful to work with so many companions on such an extremely odd/thrilling profession of non-public and residential content material creation for thousands and thousands to see/view/like/decide and share. I’ve by no means been so exhausting on myself and I’m making an attempt to determine why. I’ve some theories. I discovered an superior freelance crew in Portland that I like working with each week (shout out to Emily M. and Kaitlin Inexperienced) and so love and recognize that my crew that you just all know, Jess, Ryann, Mal and Caitlin who proceed to navigate the thrilling waters of the web with me and add worth to the world. In the meantime, we’re beginning to dial in the home with decor, room by room which is lighting my fireplace once more (and a lot much less fraught than a renovation – I LOVE STYLING). I’m writing a full submit about the way it has been dwelling in Portland so extra to return. All in all, I really feel prefer it was one other yr of pleasure, questions, desperately making an attempt to remain gradual, classes, and being grateful for my crew and all of you who spend time right here (particularly the long-time readers that preserve me going after I’m down – thanks) xx
I didn’t notice it till I sat down to write down this, however this yr has been all about change. My Life™ has modified and I’ve modified, and I don’t assume I might have totally appreciated that truth if I wasn’t requested to replicate on the previous three hundred and sixty five days. However whew, the place to start?? Oh proper, I received married this yr!!! And everybody likes to ask “how is married life?” and “does it really feel totally different?”. I swear most individuals count on us to reply “Nope it’s the very same as earlier than!” However it isn’t. It’s totally different, it feels deserved, and issues did shift after we received married (for the higher). And I do know marriage will not be all the time straightforward (a story our society is hooked on perpetuating for some cause) however marriage is nice proper now and I’m so grateful. What else? Oh *goes to Italy as soon as* I’m additionally a world traveler!!! Earlier this yr we went to Italy for my husband’s brother’s marriage ceremony and it was the primary time both of us had ever traveled internationally. That have was not solely enjoyable/thrilling/new however it additionally taught me that I can journey with out having a panic assault and that my husband and I are nice journey companions. I’m famously an anxious traveler however we had an unimaginable expertise that prompted us to ebook our honeymoon in 2023–this time to Japan. Superb. However sadly, life isn’t revolved round me jetting off to a different nation every year. Life, as everyone knows, is obsessive about ups and downs. And to be sincere, there are far too many downs for my style. I consider most individuals know that my brother handed away on August eighth, 2021 at 29 years outdated, and this yr I discovered that I’ll all the time transfer by life with grief. The grief transforms and reshapes itself always, however by no means goes away. I additionally witnessed individuals closest to me expertise their very own devastating losses this yr and I’ve come to appreciate that one of the best issues I can do in life are nurture my relationships, present up for the individuals I like, and make sincere connections. In 2023, I can’t wait to look at my brother’s daughter develop up and change into extra like him day-after-day, journey with my husband, and proceed to alter/develop as an individual. What a cool life <3
I used to be making an attempt to see if I might give this yr a letter grade however that feels kinda unimaginable. My preliminary thought was D+ however that’s doubtless a bit dramatic and attributable to emotional exhaustion. However actually, when it comes to my private life, this has been a tough yr. I’ve been battling despair attributable to most likely what are nonetheless the after-effects of the pandemic (not that it’s over) and all of the horrendous issues taking place on the earth and within the nation every day, but in addition due to some issues I don’t need to discuss on the web. The whole lot on that entrance is manageable, fortunately, however that doesn’t make shifting by it straightforward. Melancholy throughout lockdown felt a bit totally different. Whereas nonetheless extraordinarily exhausting and 0/10 stars, there was a minimum of some bizarre solace in realizing I wasn’t lacking out on dwelling life. I’ve by no means actually suffered from “FOMO” however whenever you’re coping with despair in “regular” life there’s only a normal disappointment of not being able to totally expertise it whereas others are/can. I additionally know that clearly I’m not alone in these emotions. Most of my pals are going by one thing comparable even when they’re for completely totally different causes. I’m wildly grateful that all of us have one another however it’s straightforward to then to not need to burden your folks that even have their very own struggles. And to be honest my despair actually solely kicked into excessive gear within the latter half of the yr and even then I’ve had some actually great moments. Like my pricey faculty buddy and cousin getting married (not to one another:)). Jess Bunge LOVES to bounce so weddings are proper up my alley. I received to go to NY for an extended weekend to see a few of my greatest pals in addition to an extended journey in the summertime. I went to go see Rodrigo Amarante, Stevie Nicks, Florence and the Machine, and Alicia Keys in live performance! All so unimaginable and shifting. Within the spring (the higher half), I went to Mexico once more and felt extra alive and like myself than I had in years. Additionally, when it comes to every day life, I nonetheless love my job and know what an enormous deal that’s. I believe the true difficulty is that in my private life I’ve been principally simply letting life occur to me. I’ve sort of misplaced a way of actual possession and going by the motions which I do know simply comes from an absence of feeling worthy. That’s one thing I’ve battled with my complete life and I do know it’s solely ever been alleviated after I make sturdy selections and put myself even just a bit exterior of my consolation zone. In order that’s what I plan to alter this subsequent yr. I have already got plans within the making to hopefully condo swap with somebody in New York for a month or two (not earlier than my front room is revealed:)), go to my dad in Paris (sure, the already coolest dad on the planet has determined he’s dwelling in France for 3 months beginning this January), and some different concepts I’m nonetheless determining which are extra inside job issues. I’m simply bored with feeling caught however I’m the one one to unstick myself. In order that’s the place I’m at and hopefully, if you’re coping with comparable emotions you already know that you’re completely not alone. 2023 right here we come…BE BETTER, OK???
Would you like the excellent news or the unhealthy information first? (Hope you picked “unhealthy,” as a result of that’s the place we’re beginning right here.) Once I look again, quite a lot of 2022 felt like I used to be bouncing from disaster to disaster – the yr began with two back-to-back deaths, adopted by an endless slew of non-public stresses (my favourite: the multi-month black mould nightmare in my condo), and December’s highlights included a tough bout of Covid (my first time – had all the signs; examined optimistic for 15 days straight; don’t suggest) instantly adopted by my 12-year-old cat’s first-ever journey to the kitty ER. However quite a lot of the adverse feelings and stresses associated to those unhealthy issues had been blunted as a result of…
(That is the excellent news half.) GUYS. It lastly occurred!!! I fell in love in 2022!!! For the primary time ever!!! At age 31!!! (When you couldn’t guess, it’s with that man up there on the left! AHH!!!) Because it seems, quite a lot of sucky issues occur to suck rather a lot much less when there’s a sort and affected person and considerate particular person round who’s keen that can assist you navigate all of the murky and mucky stuff. I’d by no means been in a position to ~get there~ in earlier relationships (very NOT Libra of me) and was fairly certain I used to be destined to be the enjoyable brunch buddy – like, in case your squad is in want of a gal with a foul date story, I’ve received hours of them – so activating a brand new a part of my mind and feeling an entire bunch of recent emotions has been VERY EXCITING. (I might write 2,000 phrases concerning the ~meet cute~ and every little thing else, however I’ll simply say this: he’s one of the best, I like him, and he reads the weblog so SAY HI TO DENNIS, PLEASE.) Additionally thrilling: it was an incredible yr of journey and friendship. I flew cross-country 16 (!!!) instances; watched a ton of my greatest pals get married in NYC, Vermont, Delaware, and California; went to Firefly (in Delaware, very enjoyable) and When You Have been Younger (in Vegas, additionally very enjoyable, however within the “it’s an absolute catastrophe” approach); loved Seattle and Northern California with the EHD crew; watched my favourite band play in each Boston and Philadelphia; welcomed a slew of recent infants (congrats to all my new mama friends!!!); and capped off the yr by touring by Germany, Austria, Slovakia, and Hungary with my mother (might have achieved with out the Covid we each introduced residence, although). The highs had been excessive and the lows had been low, however I’m simply feeling actually fortunate to have my mother and my pals and my cute boyfriend and my candy coworkers and all of you, too. Life’s trying fairly okay proper now, I believe 🙂
The phrase ‘new chapter’ will get thrown round rather a lot in relation to resolutions and reflections for the upcoming yr, however I imply it after I say 2022 has felt like I’ve entered one (in one of the simplest ways). Whereas the yr has been barely much less ‘eventful’ (comparatively) to a few of the others within the current previous (In 2019 I moved to New York then to LA for EHD, 2020 was clearly bizarre however memorable, and 2021 felt like such a large distinction to 2020 with ‘regular’ life trickling again and a few massive journey moments), however being extra stagnant this yr has introduced a large quantity of non-public progress and alter I by no means would have predicted. 2019 me and 2022 me are two very totally different variations of myself: the brand new me has developed sturdy targets and needs in life & has found out much more about who I’m and who I need to be. It’s been a yr of reaching for brand new heights. I began a TikTok account and received a number of of my first (and intensely superior) partnerships which has been a dream come true!!! and I’m studying increasingly about how I can attain my fullest potential whereas nonetheless being completely happy (which is so essential). I’ve all the time been a giant ‘work exhausting, play exhausting’ sort of particular person, and currently I’ve been honing in on what each work and play ought to seem like of their highest type. For instance, in relation to ‘play’ I’m realizing how a lot I like having TICKETS to actually something & that having significant connections & making reminiscences are crucial issues. I’m so grateful to be surrounded by a lot love in my life – each from my household, pals and my very particular particular person, Chase. Having a life accomplice like him by these years of turbulence has been so particular, and I’ll by no means take that with no consideration 🙂 And in relation to work, I’m loving the place I’m at and am so grateful to be part of this crew. Having a job that creatively encourages me on this very particular (however unimaginable) area that I by no means would have identified existed if it wasn’t for EHD and also you all –– so THANK YOU. I can’t wait to see the place 2023 takes us as a crew & I’m so excited to proceed studying, evolving and rising into the particular person I hope to be. Now let’s kick this new yr off proper!! 🙂
Nicely, that’s all EHD wrote:) Completely happy completely happy New Yr’s Eve and cheers to a brighter 2023.
Love you, imply it.